Night Reform

Night Reform

Education Supremo, Jo "Anagram" O "Merpus (78) presented the latest plank in the government's one of the measures with a "Make education in Britain beyond recognition." Its expected the plan to remove the writing of the curriculum will come into force when new school year begins in September.

"In September this year," Mr. Omerpus (68) told reporters SMS bar with the Cheshire Cat Fat in his constituency madhouse, students and even teachers, will no longer be required to demonstrate the ability the spelling, either in writing or for work on exam papers. As long as who reads their work can be sure of what was probably trying to say, and then the government considers charging students and teachers of obsolete and unnecessary spelling of the word as good as what to write boffs dictionaries are only perliticul (sic) correctness gone mad. It is time to end the fascist torture.

Arthur 'oblique' Forehead (22), the largest teachers' union leader, was once in agreement with the government. "This time I'm in agreement with the government." he said.

In the semi-literate press release later, Mr. forehead Press writer elaborated: "We have long felt that education is about giving kids what they want, as one would with any consumer. new measure perfectly adapts the previous government's launching of innovation grammar and go to school. It definitely makes our job a lot easier teachers and requires a written correction of work stress. Most of us has a problem with the written side of things and the teacher does not want to spend a morning, noon and night with your face in dickshonary (sic).

Opposition Minister in the Cabinet Shadow education was not so sure that the government, but it's good. "We see nothing in these proposals, he said," to ensure that our government did enough to improve the quality of students put ticks next to the multiple choice answers. Ticks, which are too difficult to read and can scrawled lead to misunderstandings and lack of ability to write words, a student needs to be able to write it very clearly.

Government Senior Advisor Education and allegedly the real architect of numerous educational reforms described by the PM recently enthused as "not so many as the real Titanic the long-awaited change, "is a psychiatrist, Dr. Pewee Druggem.

It said Dr Druggem reporter "impossible demands placed upon for children who learn the correct spelling undermine self-esteem of the child in the mistaken assumption that self-esteem and from the implementation is not, as we now know what patted on the head and given a lot of sympathy.

He added that "it is also social divisions, the division of students into two classes: those happy with their little snots that might mean, and disenfranchised minority who can not. It also includes groups were unfair advantage in the form of things as filling out job applications and claims for benefits, and employers spellist too often discriminated against so that only one in a hundred jobs going to persons in a position to spell. Indeed, it appears that the only truly always "Equal opportunity" employer, if challenged are in alphabetical concerned tabloid newspapers. "

He went on to explain, that an ominous violation of children's self-esteem causes serious mental illness, mostly children, known as "Anxiety Disorder spelling (SAD). "Well," Dr. Druggem said: "We have a level playing field in more or less abandon it altogether."

When I asked whether dumbing down, if it removed the stress leads to SAD, pharmaceutical companies would lose substantial profits from the sale of drugs for the disorder, said Dr. Druggem:

"We prefer the term LEVELLING down like dumbing down means value judgment. Fortunately, the drug cartels will not lose. We can be the elimination of SAD, but it is not a newly discovered disorder caused by stress is not able to specify. Worried about the name is similar to the spelling of elimination (Arse) and requires large quantities of drugs for treatment. "

British Government revolutionary new approach to education is capturing the imagination of educators abroad. Germans, French and Spanish in particluar reform and enthusiasm reports from all three countries there was a significant increase in "Thick British" jokes circulating both locally and at the level of government.

"Once again," said a spokesman of the French, the British an opportunity to provide endless fun for the rest of Europe. "

O'Merpus Lord replied: "Our European partners will laugh at their faces on the other hand, when the British workers collection of all child work available length and breadth of the Reich - I mean, the Union. "

The government expects its reform of the pay handsome dividends in better exam results next year. It is now five years since any British student flunked the exam and government quickly take credit for what is describes as not so much a reduction in testing standards as the basis for the level of genius of the entire population. Therefore, ten-year-olds will be able to sit a multiple-choice examinations for doctors in most subjects.

END

"The popularity of the new Text messaging reaches new high GCSE.
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"I do not need any Educashun. We do not need any controwl fort. Diskuss. [View page 6]